Who Cares What They Think

A very good friend of mine suggested that I start a blog... Not that you are wondering why, but I will share it with you anyway.  I like to give advice - most of the time solicited, thank you very much!  And when I dish it out, it is completely honest and objective.

I like to empower my people.  Let them know that they are worth more than the circumstances that they are going through at the time.  I like to encourage people to face their fears and tell them it is OK to stand up for what you believe in, especially if they are having trouble believing in themselves.  It is always baffles me that we allow ourselves to let others get into our head, therefore reducing our self worth.

Who gives a flying peanut what others think!?!

Do I care what that guy or girl across the way is thinking of me when I walk in the room?  Not really.  All I care about is how I am feeling about myself.  We spend so much time worrying about the opinion of others that we forget to remember who we are as individuals.  Did I feel great when I chose the jeans and t-shirt to rock tonight over the dress and heels?  Absolutely!  Do I need to fret over the fact that the guys are drooling over the girl that is leaving little to the imagination with her choice of attire? (you know what I am talking about - she is bending over and you get clear shot of her who-ha)  OF COURSE NOT!!  Because, those guys aren't staring at her and wondering who she is going to vote for in then next election or that she looks like she would be a great mother some day.

Interestingly enough, these single ladies that are trying to attract the guy by showing off their goodies, usually want to find a boyfriend.  So they apply their war paint, slip into their gear and head off to the battlefield.  But they are only at war with themselves.  Do they look hot and are they rocking it?  Some of them... (let's be honest - some of them are just a train wreck and it looks like their makeup was applied by a graffiti artist - no honey, that dress does not fit and you are stumbling in those heels)  But it is the vibe they give off.  The looking over the shoulder to see if any one is looking at them.  The eyeballing of every other girl in the joint, appraising them and judging whether or not they look better than they do.  You are gauging how you feel based on your opinion of others?  Where is your self-worth, your confidence?  All those articles in those women's magazine, where they get the guy's opinion... inevitably there is always that one guy that says that a woman's confidence it the sexiest thing she can wear.  Mental High Five Guy!!

On the flip side - no, you shouldn't go out in your pajamas and your bedroom slippers because "who cares what other people think".  Besides, that's nasty!!  Why in the hell are you wearing your house slippers out in public, stepping in God knows what, and walking back in the house with them.  They looks gross and raggedy.  And you look tore up from the floor up!  No, you don't look cute, you look sloppy and it looks like you don't give a crap of what you think about yourself!  At least brush your hair, slip on a pair of shorts, a t-shirt and some flip-flops!  Sweet Mary!

Do I suffer from my own insecurities?  OF COURSE I DO!!!  I will share them with you in another chapter, but I can tell you this... they all stem from my bad choices in relationships and allowing others' own insecurities and inabilities to do a number on my self worth.

It is a giant game.  As a mother of young girls, it makes me sad that the world tells them that you have to look or act a certain way to get attention.  And, believe you me, I am doing my damnedest to make sure they appreciate exactly who they are and not to settle for less than someone who loves them starting from the inside out.  My thirteen year old daughter is really coming into her own, beyond a mother's comfort level.  Sometimes I want to pop those 16 and 17 yr old boys in the mouth just for looking at her.  Fortunately for me, she has the gumption to say, "What are you looking at?  I am only 13!"  Of course, then she will look at me and laugh because she is flattered and they were cute!


Feeling good about yourself is a choice... I know, sometimes easier said than done.  And there are those out there that have been fed lies their whole life.  The lie that they aren't worth anything and every other despicable filth that can be told to a child, who becomes an adolescent and then an adult.  That is definitely hard to reverse - but as you get older, hopefully you learn that they are all wrong, and you are amazing...